I don't want to lose count of my 5 surprises, so I will itemize them as they arrive. Surprise #1, the desire to go back to the gym, is still a work in progress. I did make it to the gym a few times last week, but wasn't feeling 100% thanks to a cough due to cold, and I didn't make it as many days as I'd originally hoped. I'll keep pushing through though, and am committing to 5 days of workouts this week. Already I'm at 3. And not just the "I show up, give my fingerprint, put my crap in the locker room, stretch, pretending I'm really pushing through that elliptical workout" workout. Seriously, my muscles are in a state of rebellious confusion, not knowing whether to stretch or snap, and they are revolting. I'm still trying to remember what "hurts so good" feels like...
Speaking of this week, our schedules are in a temporary state of influx. Thanks to Martin Luther King, the girls were home from school for a long weekend on Monday and Tuesday. I opted to take Monday off as both an excuse to stay home with the girls, as well as a mental-health, get myself together day. A day off is like Chicken Soup for the Soul. I didn't even spend it in bed watching bad reality TV and catching up on the DVR full of more bad reality TV (which is about all I've done for 5 months). After a trip to the gym, a morning of total house cleaning, laundry, lunch out with my girls, a trip to Target, making dinner for the family, and baking a surprise for Daddy, I felt INCREDIBLE. Thus.....Surprise #2. Seriously, I felt better and more like my hardly existent, not-so-old self. It was both exhilarating and liberating. The feeling that I am finally pulling myself out of the SAD doldrums and "two-step forward, one-step backward" post-op recovery - I think its almost safe to say that it feels like it's all behind me (and I'm totally not talking about how big my butt is right now). It's good to start feeling more like myself, before all of this hormonal and menopausal upheaval occurred. I'd almost forgotten.
The doctor gave me a few "absolutely no......" items for what should have been an 8-week waiting period. Without giving you enough details to draw yourself a mental picture, suffice it say that 8 weeks is a VERY long time. Why is it that when someone tells me "absolutely no.....you can't", I'm all the more eager to do it? Literally??? Although my official 8 weeks isn't technically over until tomorrow........you get the picture. Surprise #3 - NONE of my fears from surgery, hormones, etc. has been manifested and you have no idea what a relief that is. YAY ME! (It WAS a surprise after all, which is the only reason I'm torturing you with TMI.)
Surprise #4 - I sent my handsome hubby off to work this week. You have no idea how timely Surprise #4 really is. No idea...... Someone wise (me) once said, "Everything happens for a reason". It's been difficult to imagine the reason behind this particular everything. Several things I do know - no matter the difficulty placed before him, I have never doubted my hubby's love for me and our kids; no matter the financial complexities this "recession" may have caused, I appreciate all that we still have and have somehow managed to hold onto with more humble thankfulness; no matter where we live or the jobs we choose, I appreciate every sacrifice and difficult decision we've had to make over the last 13 years; and I am lucky to have my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, my job, my health......all of it! Because not everyone I know has made it through with all of those things still intact. But we have, and as a bonus, I am still completely twiterpated by my marital bestie. So for all of those times I verbally asked where MY blessings were through the trials.....finally.....I can now consider it all one, big, all-encompassing blessing. In retrospect - although that is definately hard to realize when you think your life is going to hell in a handbasket.
There just might be something to this "waiting on a surprise" thing. Every day I am anticipating something fantastic. Maybe I'm turning into an eternal optimist. Now, that WOULD be a surprise! Until then, I await Surprise #5. Stay tuned......
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